I had once read.. Happiness is a state of mind.
I pondered and asserted- How true..!
Our happiness depends not on what we have, but on how we think and feel about what we have.
As far as I can remember, I have always heard my mom say that she is happy when everyone at home is happy.
Of course I loved my mom for that and am so proud of her...but then I always thought...
NOW COME ON..GET REAL..!
How can one feel happy seeing someone else happy? What about your happiness? What about your needs? Your Desires?
You go to a restaurant with your family and order your favorite starter...a family favorite. You finish your share real quick almost gulping it down, and then look at mom's plate. Without saying a word she puts it in your plate and smiles.
I enjoyed this when I was a kid, but as I grew up I felt really ashamed of myself. But then there are some things you just can't change.
I did try talking this out with my mom, trying to know, why she would part with something she liked so much, just for me, or sometimes, Dad, or even my sister. And she would simply say .." You would know, when you are in my shoes".
Time passed by, and somewhere over the years, I had almost forgotten about this incident.
Today when out of no where I remembered this incident, it made me wonder. And after hours (actually a few minutes but they felt like hours in my head) of thinking, a smile emerged on my face...something inside me told me that I had cracked a code.. though not fully.
I remembered that I am most at peace when I see my husband smiling. I feel immense contentment when I have had an hour long girly conversation with my MIL, and still better when I share my favorite candy with my three year old nephew.
I feel the tables turning... and my feet suddenly trying to fit in my mom's shoes.
Its still a long way, but the journey has definitely begun.